My Civic Obligation

An Open Letter to the Jury Commissioner of Massachusetts

Dear Sir or Madam:

What a pleasant surprise to receive a summons in the mail today from your office. While it would give me great pride to serve my country as a trial juror on April 14, 2005 at the Pittsfield Superior Courthouse, I regret to inform you that I have already served nine (9) days of Jury Duty at that venerable institution within the past year. In fact, it was such a profound and enriching experience that it was almost worth the first seven (7) days of fall semester classes which I missed in order to fulfill this valuable civic obligation. Unfortunately, this previous service disqualifies me from future Jury Duty for a period of three (3) years. Please feel free to contact me then if I am still residing in Massachusetts at that time and have not changed my name and address. Speaking of which, please endeavor to spell my surname correctly in the future. The proper spelling is McDonough. McDongough is not only incorrect but linguistically absurd, and I have already corrected you twice (2wice) on this matter. The Gaelic Mac Donnchadha is the only alternative spelling which I will accept. In addition, my address is not, nor has it ever been, "101 Lynde Lane". Although I do indeed reside adjacent to this humble thoroughfare, my address, like that of all Williams students, is "Baxter Hall". Despite the fact that the aforementioned building was recently demolished, I cannot possibly imagine where you got this "Lynde Lane" nonsense. Is it possible that I received a summons meant for someone else? A certain fellow hight "McDongough" residing at 101 Lynde? Barring this unlikely possiblility, I can only conclude that you have ignored my previous attempts to correct my name and address. In that case, Sir or Madam, I can only beg you to reconsider. The United States Postal Service should not have to deal with these shenanigans. If left unchecked, I fear your cruel whims will surely cripple our postal system and bring our once-proud nation to her knees. But I have said enough. I trust you will find it in your heart to do what is right for freedom and democracy.

Sincerely,
Joseph McDonough