He wore a shining star

If you've ever wondered about the nature of my secret identity, you need look no further than the Plymouth County Sheriff's Office. That's right- by day, I'm a mild-mannered college student, but by night I travel across the state, change my middle name, and assemble my posse to do battle with the enemies of justice. A tough job, to be sure, but somebody's got to do it.

Apropos of justice, I present the following Jack Handey quote for your enjoyment.

"If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink."