Harry Potter VII

With the publication of the sixth and penultimate Harry Potter installment, speculation has never been rifer- nor security tighter- regarding the eagerly anticipated conclusion to the series. It is therefore with justifiable pride that I present to you the following information, which- though still in the realm of guesswork- represents my latest and most controversial research into the dark secrets of J.K. Rowling's plans for the seventh and final book. On the cost by which I have obtained this knowledge, I will not dwell. Suffice it to say that you, my readers, have no doubt noted the recent dearth of blog updates, just as my family has puzzled over my unannounced absences, cryptic remarks, and withered right hand. At this time I would like to warn spoiler-conscious readers to read no further.

Continue...

Harry Potter and the Revenge of the Slyth
co-written by George Lucas

The wizarding world is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Deatheaters and their sinister master, Lord Voldemort. In a stunning move, the traitor Severus Snape sweeps into the Ministry of Magic headquarters and kidnaps the Minister, Rufus Scrimgeour. Harry and Ron fight their way through an army of Inferi to reach Scrimgeour, who is being guarded by Draco Malfoy. A duel ensues in which Harry defeats Malfoy, and at Scrimgeour's urging kills him. Harry and Ron evade Snape and return Scrimgeour to the Ministry. In apparent gratitude, Scrimgeour appoints Harry as his personal representative at Hogwarts, where Harry is to begin his seventh year. Headmistress McGonagall reluctantly accepts Harry as a member of the staff, but refuses to grant him the title of Professor, although the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is still vacant. Harry is torn between his personal dislike of Scrimgeour and the Ministry and his resentment of what he perceives as McGonagall's mistrust, which he suspects stems from his refusal to confide in her the secrets entrusted to him by Dumbledore. When Harry questions her about Horcruxes, still without revealing his true purposes, she concludes that he is seeking the knowledge for his own purposes, perhaps to insure himself against the inevitable showdown with Voldemort, and grows even more mistrustful.

Meanwhile, despite the warnings of his conscience, Harry cannot bring himself to break off his secret romance with Ginny Weasley, who tells him that she is pregnant. Harry begins to be troubled by disturbing presentiments of her death in childbirth. Scrimgeour, displaying an uncanny ability to read Harry's mind, is sympathetic, hinting that there are ways to save people from death that cannot be learned at Hogwarts. "It's not something Dumbledore would have told you." Harry remembers the many times that Dumbledore withheld information from him, but is loath to confide in the Minister- until Scrimgeour casually drops the H-bomb, and he is suddenly all ears. "You know about Horcruxes, sir?"

"Harry, if one is to understand magic, one must study all its aspects, not just the dogmatic, narrow view of your Hogwarts professors. Be careful, Harry. They fear you. In time they will destroy you. Let me train you."

"I won't be a pawn of the Ministry. Hogwarts is my home."

"Only through me can you achieve a power than any other wizard. Master the Dark Arts, and you will be able to save Ginny Weasley from certain death."

"What did you say?"

"Use my knowledge, I beg you..."

"You're Lord Voldemort!"

Harry suddenly realizes the truth. He whips out his wand and points it at Voldemort, but after a tense moment lowers it. "I'm going to turn you in," he says. Voldemort makes no move to stop Harry as the latter rushes off, returning not long after with Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, and Slughorn, who attempt to put him under arrest. "The Ministry will decide your fate," announces McGonagall grimly.

"I am the Ministry!"

Voldemort's wand suddenly appears in his hand, and Flitwick and Slughorn are on the floor, dead.

Harry is paralyzed as McGonagall and Voldemort duel. Bolts of lightning shoot from Voldemort's wand, but McGonagall parries them with her own. Voldemort appears to weaken and appeals to Harry for help. "You can't kill him, Professor," Harry pleads. "He must stand trial."

"He has too much control of the Ministry and the Wizengamot. He is too dangerous to be kept alive."

Harry makes his decision. "Expelliarmus!" he shouts, disarming not Voldemort but McGonagall, who is blasted out of the window by Voldemort's lightning bolts. "Power! Unlimited power!" cackles Voldemort.

"What have I done?"

"You are fulfilling your destiny, Harry. Become my apprentice. Learn to use the Dark Arts."

"I will do whatever you ask."

"Good."

"Just help me save Ginny's life. I can't live without her. I won't let her die. I want the power to stop death."

"To cheat death is a power only I have achieved, but if you will become my apprentice, I will share it with you."

"I pledge myself to your teachings. To the ways of the Slyth."

Voldemort waves his wand and Harry's name appears in the air. Another wave of his wand, and the letters rearrange themselves.

"A powerful Slyth you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as HARPY ROTTER."

"Thank you, my Master."

"We must move quickly. I want you to go to Hogwarts. We will catch them off balance. Do what must be done, Harpy Rotter. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy. Only then will you be strong enough in the Dark Arts to save Ginny."

Harry arrives at Hogwarts at the head of an army of Inferi. He finds a group of first-years hiding in the Gryffindor common room, where they have fled to escape the Inferi.

"Harry, there are too many of them. What are we going to do?"

"Avada-"

Harry intends to leave Hogwarts in flames, but on his way out is confronted by his old friend Ron. They duel as the castle burns around them. Part of the ceiling caves in, pinning Harry to the ground, and Ron disarms him.

"You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the heir of Slytherin, not join him!"

Ron picks up Harry's wand and begins to walk away. He stops and looks back. Harry screams as his robes burst into flame.

"I hate you!"

"You were my best mate, Harry. I loved you."

Ron leaves Harry for dead and escapes Hogwarts with Ginny only moments before Voldemort arrives to recover his apprentice. Ginny dies not long afterward, but not before giving birth to twins, one of whom is placed in the care of Hagrid, the other given to Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour to raise as their own. Meanwhile, Voldemort fits his apprentice with a new body of gleaming silver and tells him that Ginny was killed in the destruction of Hogwarts. The stage is set for the second septology, in which Harry's children, grown to adulthood, redeem their father and finally bring to an end the evil rule of Lord Voldemort.

TO BE CONTINUED